This weekend, your number is up.

Shortly before we went to New Zealand, the shower drain in the master bathroom slowed. When I returned, it blocked completely. I called Bob, figuring I’d also have him unblock the master vanity sink which has drained slowly ever since we moved in. I wasn’t at home when he came by, and when I got home that evening I found evidence that some work had been done but no bill. The next day I checked my voicemail and found one from Bob that started “I’m sorry to tell you this but your whole house is…” … now just let me say that I hate it when voicemails start like this, especially the “your whole house is” bit. Is what? Tumbling down the hill? On fire? Falling into the sea? Backed up, it would seem. Being true to the California Rambler form, Ranchtastic is a wide house, 68 feet end to end. It has four bedrooms, but rather than having a wing for the living areas and a wing for all the bedrooms the design splits two bedrooms on either side of the large living spaces. As a result, I refer to the bedrooms on the west side as the “west wing” and the bedrooms on the east side as the “east wing”. A long cast iron sewer pipe connects the east to the west. This pipe was clogged. Ew.

Exacerbating things, the connecter pipe for the front bathroom had an impressive 2 foot crack in it, and due to the backup was now leaking sewage into the crawlspace. Yum. This was replaced. The front bathroom toilet had begun to leak as a result and had to be reinstalled with a new valve etc. Bob recommends replacing the long section of pipe between the crawlspace cleanout and the kitchen connection, because the surface is rough which causes it to attract debris.

This done, we could begin to resurrect the master bathroom. Leslie removed the ancient sliding glass shower door, which came from a time before safety glass (it had a wire matrix embedded in case it broke - and it had cracked). A trip to Lowes and Bed Bath & Beyond netted a spiffy new curved shower curtain rod and curtains, and some more frills for the front bathroom.

After all of this was installed Leslie woefully informed me that as a result of the driving rain, the house was now leaking around the window in the kitchen. Owning a big house in the country is something of a new experience for me so there are all sorts of maintenance things that I forget to do that I should, such as clearing leaves out of the gutters. The gutter over the den facing the driveway had clogged with leaves, and the runoff from the front guttering had nowhere to go so was spilling out off the edge and down the kitchen window, which wasn’t sealed properly at the bottom and so it was coming through onto the counters. Out I went into the void, clambering up onto a jittery ladder, crowbar in hand, shoveling dead leaves out onto the ground below. I managed to stop the waterfall, and once I reached the other end of the gutter plunged my hand into the dark water and forced the few leaves in there that were blocking the downspout through. There was a whoosh and the black water in the gutter quickly drained away. Hooray!

Crisis averted, I went back inside where it was toasty and warm.

Amazing!

As the year gets started, I am beginning to think of starting to make The Plan - what will be done to the house and grounds in the years to come. Ideas, in no particular order:

Foundation/Structural/Drainage

• Fix foundation sag along front wall
• Fix crack in stemwall under kitchen window
• Reconfigure driveway drainage
• Brace post footers in west crawlspace
• Correct slight bow in kitchen/west wing hall floor.

Pest Control

• Clear out crawlspace, remove spiders.
• Seal all door openings with weather stripping

Energy Efficiency

• New windows throughout house, double pane.
• Insulation in walls, floors.

Electrical

• Upgrade panel to 200A
• Replace all outlet circuits with grounded circuits
• Switch reconfiguration in various locations
• Sub-panel for downstairs
• New and additional outdoor outlets
• Clear up outdoor wiring

Plumbing

• Replace water heaters with flash heaters.
• Simplify gas meter connections
• Replace section of pipe leaving house by inlaw unit connecting to septic tank with new straight section.
• Direct drain connection for washing machine.
• Install grey water system for collected wastewater.

Landscaping

• Clear overgrown vines, privets, etc from front lawn.
• Remove dead and unsightly trees, street side juniper
• Maintenance on oak trees, aesthetic pruning.
• Cut steps into hillside along back side of garage.
• Remove all poison oak.
• Install lower lawn
• Plant feijoa trees
• Plant blue spruce
• Replace asphalt with green concrete grid
• Install proper irrigation system

Inlaw Unit

• Remove entire unit - all walls, fixtures, etc.
• Correct slab cracks/slopes/issues.
• Replace unit with new.

Deck

• Remove entire deck, replace with new design.

Decoration

• New paint, tile, hardwood, carpet throughout.
• New bathroom fixtures, cabinets, counter tops, tile, etc.
• Remove & replace kitchen and all appliances with new design and appliances.

Exterior Decoration

• Replace siding with cedar or hardiplank
• Increase curb appeal

Blue Sky

• Lower patio & swimming pool

This after mysterious water puddles found in the bathroom downstairs the previous week.

Our awesome plumber Bob from Q1 Plumbing comes out and snakes the line down to the septic tank but its still blocked. Oh and we uncover a small community of black widow spiders living in the leaves on top of the septic tank lid.

It was more than he could fix immediately so he’ll be back tomorrow with heavier equipment. We will be sawing into the lower deck to get at the main sewer line cleanout.

I’ve never experienced this much plumbing catastrophe before. My mother’s place was built in 1970 and as far as I can tell still has its original water heater (!). Ditto my grandparents place, which was built in the same year as this house (1964).

On a more cheerful front, thanks to the help of many, including Johnny and Lynne, the downstairs is now almost done. Photos eventually.

The large tree to the left of the Deck Oak has been cut down:

… need to cut it into smaller bits and haul away the twigs.

My neighbor behind us kindly built these plywood sides for my new truck (’01 Tacoma) so I can haul the remains away in fewer trips…

We bought two Feijoa (Pineapple Guava) trees:

… my grandparents have one. You don’t find the fruit often in California but it’s very popular in New Zealand and has an amazing taste.

We planted a new flower garden around the front of the house:

… hopefully the deer don’t get into it. The plants are mostly deer resistant. Leslie claims the driveway by the front door is too much of an inescapable trap and the deer will be afraid to come in and linger.

This Aster is my favorite so far:

More work done downstairs too, cabinets painted and tile floor mostly down: